


queasy silence

by bishounen_curious



Series: volleyball dads [16]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, this pained me more than anything in my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 12:37:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9440768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bishounen_curious/pseuds/bishounen_curious
Summary: Something’s gotta change.Collapsed on the floor, Daichi’s fingers smoothed over Suga’s wrist.You gotta tell them. It’s ruining you.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [unbiasedblonde](https://archiveofourown.org/users/unbiasedblonde/gifts).



> something that’s been floating around my head and on my [tumblr](http://bishounen-curious.tumblr.com/post/135784528817/so-youve-said-that-sugas-parents-dont-know-that) for a while. unbiasedblonde commissioned me to finally turn it into a little drabble! Thank you, buddy - I hope you enjoy it!!
> 
> enjoy a bit of angst, kids. i'm a gentle soul, so this hurt a lot

The first time Daichi introduced Suga to his parents as his boyfriend remains surreal. They welcomed Suga with open arms. His heart full, he had to stop himself from crying on the spot.

The second time the four of them had dinner, Daichi's parents gave Suga a gift — a stationary set that just _reminded them of him_. Suga actually cried then, and they laughed together, Daichi’s fingers entwined with his beneath the table the whole night.

The third time, Daichi's mother asked when she could meet his parents. Since, Suga’s stomach began forming knots every time he met with them. 

When the knots manifested not just during those moments — at school, at practice, in bed as he struggled to sleep — that's when Daichi tried to nudge Suga in a similar direction. _They won’t hate you. Just tell them._

One of the knots turned heavy, nausea encouraging him to spill his guts onto Daichi’s bedroom floor. _But how do you know for sure?_

His breath must’ve gone shallow, and Daichi reacted. Strong arms circled Suga’s middle, nose in his neck, giving him silence to respond. To emote. Or cry.

Or just cry. 

Slowly, Suga stopped wanting Daichi over his house after school. Gradually stopped initiating kisses, hands slipping beneath Daichi’s shirt, texting flirtatious messages at midnight. Daichi noticed, so did their friends. _Daichi’s parents, too._

Suga didn’t even want to visit Daichi’s home anymore. Everything these days made him want to puke.

 _Hey. We need to talk._

Daichi was behind him after practice, looking tired. Suga’s pulse felt violent, lungs refusing any air. Another anxiety attack that Daichi knew how to handle. Abandoning the clubroom, they locked themselves in the bathroom with a water bottle and patience.

 _Something’s gotta change._ Collapsed on the floor, Daichi’s fingers smoothed over Suga’s wrist. _You gotta tell them. It’s ruining you._

He could barely choked out _I know._ Daichi cradled him in an embrace, kissed his ear — the first kiss they shared in a week, maybe more?

_I’ll help._

Suga shook his head, sobering a little. _No. I have to do it alone._

Daichi smiled, weakly. _Okay. Soon, though._

This weekend, then.

A plan. Suga started building statements, practicing words in his brain. _I gotta tell you — Mom, Dad I have a — Daichi is — I’m gay._

Every beginning wasn’t right. Perfect enough, safe enough. All scenarios kept ending poorly. Screaming, silence, rejection. Maybe they didn’t need to know…

Daichi’s words pounded in his skull. _Something’s gotta change. You’re suffering, our relationship is too, I’m worried about you._

 _Not for me. For Daichi, then._

Sunday. At breakfast, forking his barely touched omelet. He was too sick to stomach anything more than saliva. His parents chatted, about this and that, ignoring him. He felt frozen.

With courage, Suga opened his mouth. Nothing happened. Neither noticed. He gripped his thigh, tried again. A squeak. His father glanced over.

Now or never. _I, uh, need to say something._ His mother turned to face him.

His throat was sandpaper. _It’s about Dai — about me._ They blinked, his stomach shuddered. _I’m_ — 

Suga breathed. _I’m gay._

Nothing but queasy silence. 

Never before had he felt faint from heart palpitations, a first for everything. He wanted to fill the silence with nonsense, keep the quiet from slicing into him like this. But air was scarce, thought scarcer. 

Suga’s mother then cleared her throat. His thigh ached from his grip, _Koushi —_

Oh god oh god oh god.

— _you’re in a relationship with Daichi, yes?_

Suga nodded, dumbly. Frightened.

She smiled, awkwardly. _We know._

Everything in him seized. His father sighed, drinking tea. _It’s obvious, frankly. I’m not happy, but it’s your life._ His mother quietly rolled her eyes, her smile more genuine as she mouthed _it’s okay_.

No rejection, silence, screaming. A mixture of support and acceptance. That was doable.

Suga finally took a bite of his omelet, and decided to invite Daichi over later.

**Author's Note:**

> _i need a drink_
> 
>  
> 
> and maybe commission me sometime
> 
> bishounen-curious.tumblr.com


End file.
